Sunday 19^th May – Kennet & Avon canal – Bradford-on-Avon – Where Have All The Fishes Gone?

Well, myself and nine of my Kingswood RBL club mates were quite looking forward to catching a few skimbos on the K&A canal today even though we expected to have to put up with a with a few irritating inconveniences. Now, when I say inconveniences, I do of course refer to a group of drunken yobbos who were surprisingly allowed to hire a narrowboat, about 20 more narrowboats over the course of the day plus a few paddle boarders and a couple of rowing boats. All that was missing was a couple of water skiers being towed behind a speedboat and a fooking scuba diver.

On the towpath, we were treated to an endless stream of activity including about 200 cyclists, close to a thousand walkers and about 300 off-lead and very inquisitive dogs. Needless to say, it wasn’t long before I started to question my own sanity at being on a venue that is just so damn busy at this time of year. Okay, so to be fair it was all kind of expected… well most of it anyway. What wasn’t expected is what happened next…

On arrival, we were hoping to peg both left and right of ‘Stinky Bridge’, so called due to its location to the sewage works. However, with so many boats moored up on the Tythe Barn side of the canal, all pegging was restricted to the right side of the bridge, which meant some long walks to the last couple of pegs. That wasn’t a problem as it’s flat ground with no fences or gates to navigate. Plus the fish are everywhere. A few weeks ago our match on this very same venue was won with 16lb, with 9lb for second place and a couple of 6lb weights.

So, I drew peg 7, which was virtually surrounded by trees so I was in the shade all day. It might have been 22 degrees out in the open but where I was it was more like minus 2, with a cold north wind rustling up my drainpipes. Apart from that, the peg was pretty nondescript (so no photo). There was a boat to my left but no other features as such. I could see Tony Welsby on peg 8 and I was within shouting distance of Ian Swanborough to my left on peg 6. We were all well spread out.

My baits today included punched bread over liquidised bread. Red and white maggles over Sensas 3000 Canal groundbait and worm over chopped worm. Simples! I set up 3 rigs for today, which included a number 3 elastic rig, together with 0.2-gram pencil float to 0.11 (3lb BS) N-Guage mainline and a size 20 Guru Kuranku micro barb hook, tied to 0.08 (1lb-6oz BS) Guru N-Guage Super Natural hook length. This rig was for fishing straight down the middle in 5 feet of water.

Rig number 2 consisted of a number 4 elastic and a similar 0.2-gram pencil float to 0.11 Guru mainline but the hook size was an 18 Guru Kuranku micro barb hook, tied to 0.10 (2lb-4oz BS) Guru N-Guage Super Natural hook length. This rig was for fishing on the bottom of the shelf at 11 metres in a depth of just over 5 feet. My final rig was for fishing on the shelf both at 13 metres and 2 metres. This was again identical to the other 2 rigs apart from the hook, which was a size 16  Guru Kuranku micro barb hook, tied to 0.10 (2lb-4oz BS) Guru N-Guage Super Natural hook length. Perfection in preparation!

I had set my sights on a 10lb net of skimmers and roach today so on the all-in I kicked off by feeding a small ball of wetted liquidised bread down the track. I then selected a 4mm size punch and slipped a perfect disc of fresh, Warburtons medium-sliced bread onto my hook. Well, I fished this method for 20 minutes and didn’t get a single indication. That was strange… I always get an almost immediate response on bread but not today. I added a few maggles to the swim and baited the hook first with a white maggle and then a red maggle but not a single bite registered. Hmmm… curiouser and curiouser!

I was now feeling a little perturbed (which is a posh word for p*ssed off!) and so I decided to try the longer line with a single white maggle over groundbait. Meanwhile, the boats were churning up the silt and rubbish was catching on my line and so I’m now fast approaching the early stages of a mental breakdown. Well, I’m no quitter and so I persevered on this line trying red maggle, white maggle and then bread and in desperation… worm. Nothing! FFS! What was going on? Something was definitely wrong. I’ve never known the canal to be this hard not even in the coldest, deepest, darkened depths of winter.

So, I thought maybe the fish would respond to some heavy feeding. I dumped in a large ball of groundbait and about 5 maggles onto the 11-metre line and put 2 white maggles on the hook. The canal was slowly towing from left to right and after 3 or 4 put-ins, I finally got a bite from a small roach/bream hybrid. As I drew the fish toward me I was tempted to swing it in but thankfully, I came to my senses just in time and netted it. I didn’t get another bite on that line after that. I went back to the short line and gave that one another 15 minutes but I still got no response from there.

Top-class angler, Jason Pitman, had walked over to see me from peg 5 and said he hadn’t had a bite. (So, it wasn’t just me then?) Next, Clive from peg 1 came along telling me that nobody had yet had a bite on the low-numbered pegs. OMG! WTF was happening here today? It’s like the whole canal was completely devoid of life. During the full 5 hours, we didn’t see a single fish move anywhere. Clive continued to walk to peg 10 and when he came back, told me that nobody had caught anything at that end either. So, at this stage of the match, I was winning with one fish. I wasn’t exactly chuffed about that… I was quite concerned. 

At around 1 o’clock Jason came back over and said he had caught a roach of about 8 ounces. Tony from peg 8 had also come over and told us he still hadn’t had a bite. So, it looked like Jason had now taken the lead with his specimen roach and I was pushed into second place. That was okay… I could live with that. However, mentally, I had really had enough and was ready to pack up and go home but we all had to stay to the end and leave at the same time.

To fish in this area, which is controlled by Airsprung Angling Club, we have to drive through a padlocked gate, which has a combination lock. We then have to drive in close convoy along a road-cum-footpath to the parking area. We have to ensure all vehicles have their hazard lights on and we have to drive at no more than 10 miles per hour, trying not to run over any pedestrians on the way. So, in effect, we must all arrive together and we must all leave together. That is the rule.

That meant I had to stay to the bitter end whatever. Okay, so my last option was to try chopped worm right over on the far side shelf, which was at 13 metres. The depth here was about 18 inches. After cupping out some choppie, I put a dendro tail on the hook and dipped and dabbled it all over the shelf. I even fished over depth and held back against the flow but nothing. I have always caught a perch or two doing this but even the usually carefree perch were not interested. So, I spent the last 30 minutes fishing worm on the inside shelf up against the boat to my left. 

Finally, with the match over, you could almost sense the sigh of relief from all the other anglers. Only 3 anglers had something to weigh today. Jason was top dangler with one roach for 5 ounces. (He over-exaggerated the weight). I was knocked off second position by Tony who made an amazing comeback in the last hour, catching 4 ruffe on worm to weigh 3 ounces. I thought my fish was about 3 ounces but the scales said 2, so I ended up in 3^rd place, taking a small pot of non-consoling beer tokens home with me… not quite enough to drown the memories of a bewildering and pitiful day. None of us saw that one coming and definitely one to file away into the ‘Bad day at the office’ archives of all time.

Well, that was super dire and I can’t wait to get back out onto any water where the fish will oblige in helping to restore my self-esteem. As it happens, I’ll be fishing another Alcove AC club match next Sunday on Margaret’s Lake, Whitehouse Farm… bring it on! Good or bad… I’ll keep you posted.

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